Genius. RT @memahoney omg that would be awesome! but they cant really breathe in the space smell to contrast so probably not.
7 hours ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Do you think when astronauts return home from long missions they detect an "Earth" smell they never knew was there?
7 hours ago
by johncmayer
from USA
This afternoon I took a nap and dreamed that cartoons were real but very difficult to photograph well.
8 hours ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Sleepless... I know he's called Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson but theoretically shouldn't he be "Dwayne" The Rock "Johnson"?
8 hours ago
by johncmayer
from USA
I've got socks that have "L" and "R" labeled on them. Just another thing I can notice I'm doing wrong in my day. Thanks, socks!
3 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
@samgmorrissey yes, always! Right handed = left handed watch.
3 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Houston's love kept me out of a chair. Would have loved to jump around but couldn't. Thanks for keeping me upright, TX.
3 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
I wouldn't say I have to "man up" as much as "girl it down."
4 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
35 minutes remain. With one mind: TO ROCK AGAINST ALL ODDS!!!
4 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
I also don't want to launch into a diatribe about how James Cameron's Terminator was actually his first documentary.
4 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
I don't want to take a Percocet because I don't want to play extremely awesomely and know Percocet was to thank.
4 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Let's review this challenge: 1 thrown out lower back. 15 thousand fans. 6 chair options. Wussing out is not an option.
4 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
You can go to MTV.com and see deleted scenes of Jersey Shore. I thought that's what they showed on TV. (APPLAUSE)
5 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
What's up with The Jersey Shore having all the jagged film stock effects? Who's the DP, Abe Zapruter? (APPLAUSE)
5 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Tulsa, you blew the me and the band away. Sorry to take so many years to come by and say hi. Won't be that long again. XO
5 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Yay for random re-posts! I'm in Tulsa, and I'm feeling fine like cherry wine... see you in 3 mins, BOK Center...
6 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Keep a cork board full of newspaper snippets, especially the one that said you delivered a baby in the mall. #teachmehowtodoogie
6 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Keep your window unlocked to allow your diminutive Italian neighbor friend to enter at all times. #teachmehowtodoogie
6 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Sit at your Tandy computer at the end of each night and write a wistful journal entry. #teachmehowtodoogie
6 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
I don't want to get all economics on you but I just spent the night investing in beef futures. #LIVEWITHIT
6 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Like a Pixar movie, Wu-Tang was ostensibly for the kids but kept parents thoroughly entertained as well. #ITSATWEET
6 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
I just created a polymer by combining many small molecules known as monomers into a covalently bonded chain. #ITSAPROCESS
6 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
We all have a congenital hole in our heart. It comes down to how we go about filling it that matters.
6 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Truth be told, Tulsa, tonight's show in your city seems iffy. #ithinkiminreno?
6 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
I have unwritten songs stuck in my head. NYC F/W 2010/11 music season. RT @JustBlaze Plotting world takeover with @johncmayer
6 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Anything anybody does for me I've already done myself. #TRUTH
6 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Red Rocks, you were amazing tonight. 10k people driving 45 minutes into town on a one lane road to come sing along. Thank you!
7 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
@Lefsetz thanks man. It's a lot more uncomfortable than it looks.
8 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
The new Arcade Fire record isn't supposed to be good. If you don't understand you're not supposed to. #hipstersalreadyhateme
8 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
@Lefsetz thanks. Didn't I play that on acoustic though? And don't you have a blog on how much I "get it" to write? (please?)
8 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Loving the iPad keyboard dock. We're just steps away from creating the fully functional laptop computer!!! (I do love it.)
8 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
9 more shows left. Pulling the goalie on diet and exercise. Will resume on September 12. Emotional eating: YES!!
9 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Just learned Pareto's Rule of Partying: 80 percent of noise comes from 20 percent of guests. Brilliant, @bobreynolds!!
10 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
XO RT @tazkitty I do not typically use this word but in this case it is apropos E P I C @johncmayer & @keithurban show @ Gorge!!
11 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Love you and everyone who came out! XO RT @_Val_K @KeithUrban @johncmayer thank you for the concert of my dreams. Love you both!
11 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Just had the time of my life playing in @keithurban's set. Now listening to him CRUSH IT. You have got to see this guy's show.
11 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Can't wait to play The Gorge with @keithurban tonight. Resisting the need to use exclamation points. But It's gonna ROCK!!!!!
12 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
A friend texted a gal: "Take a photo like that again, but push against each other so they smush. :)" #classact
15 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Battle Studies Tour Vs Los Angeles, round 2 tonight. Feeling extra good about it.
16 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Not only did @bradmehldau fly out to play some songs at Hollywood Bowl, he did it on the eve of his 40th BDay!! Amazing.
17 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Because annoying haters is fun. RT @Its_Hayley Oh @JohnCMayer, why do you have to be so damn talented and sexy?
18 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
What's the video where the kid is on a multiplayer game and starts screaming and running early? Want to show the room party.
19 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Look, at the end of the day, I brush my teeth, wash my face, climb into bed and fall asleep.
22 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
I also can't throw a 95 mph fastball anymore. I think it's because I got in a fight and broke my good luck necklace.
22 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Ladies and gentlemen, I am no longer funny on Twitter. Literally 15 attempts to write a thought dashed by my own deleting. :(
22 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
Just learned that when ordering a drink, a "twist" of orange is different than a slice or wedge. Twist = just the rind.
23 days ago
by johncmayer
from USA
True story: I get wasted and order products from Knife Show for my friends. Tony gets a $35.00 katana blade. Item no. CCN-10100.
about 1 month ago
by johncmayer
from USA